Love Defines 'Real' Mom

By Denny Deady

(Published Sunday, May 11, 2008
in the Wise County Messenger)

Jeanie Mason was the consumate mother. She never missed a PTA meeting, attended every activity involving her seven children and never said no to her kids when the request was within reason. Like her Czech ancestors, she cooked in massive amounts and always had plenty should an aunt or uncle or any of her kids' friends drop by at dinnertime.

Except for early in her married life, she didn't work outside the home, devoting all her attention on her husband and children.

Jeanie was pregnant with twins in the summer of 1958 when she miscarried one of the babies. She was prescribed a drug for the next four months to keep from miscarrying the other twin. Patti Mason was born strong and healthy on Dec. 4 but 25 years later she would learn that the drug that helped bring her into the world was the cause of her ovarian cancer. She would never know the joy of giving birth that her mom had experienced.

Patti Gage of Decatur may not be a "real" mom, but 29 years ago her heart adopted her husband C.L.'s two children. They are as real to her as if she had given birth to them. Will was 9 and Traci was 6 when Patti and C.L. married. They accepted her immediately.

"We had a lot of fun together," Patti recalls. "Although there was a time they called me stepmonster because I made 'em mind, but I think they loved me. I never looked at them as stepchildren."

Shortly into the marriage, Patti also became a mom to her brother-in-law, Louis, who is now 58. Following the death of his mother, Patti became his caretaker and still refers to him as "the child I never had."

In the Czech tradition, Jeanie Mason made her family the center of her life.

Patti has centered her energy on her family. Any time her kids were involved in an activity, she was there. Will is now 40 and Traci will be 36 next month. They have blessed her with four grandchildren.

When Will's wife Keely gave birth to Nate 14 years ago, she invited Patti into the delivery room. "I got to hold her hand and breathe with her," said Patti. "I was feeling everything with her. I have always thanked her for letting me come in and see Nate being born." Patti continued, laughing, "And now I know what the pain is like. I've just had a kidney stone and everyone told me that pain is like childbirth. So now I've experienced it all."

Every one of Jeanie's seven children was made to feel special on their birthday. Celebrations were a family affair that included aunts, uncles, cousins and friends. Holidays were celebrated with much fun and fanfare.

Patti has hosted theme birthday parties for her kids and now her grandkids. Like her mother, she loves to cook and operates a catering business in addition to her hair salon, Patti's Hair Parlor & Etc. She is accustomed to feeding several hundred at a catering so a birthday party for 50 or more is not even challenging. She is concerned only with making memories for her family.

Patti's kids and grandkids are part of the big Mason/Milan family Easter picnic, where the raw egg toss is always a hit. The annual Fourth of July celebration at Eagle Mountain Lake also draws a crowd as does the traditional Thanksgiving dinner and Christmas Eve get-together.

"The more the merrier, that's what I always say," says Patti.

Jeanie's home was a haven for children. Patti has made her home a "child's wonderland." There's a huge sand pile where they can build anything their imagination can create. There's a giant playhouse and a fort and toys in every direction.

"I'm in the middle of all of it," says Patti. If the kids want to swim, she's in the pool splashing with them. If her two granddaughters, Carson, who will be 7 next month and Marley, 5, want to play, she'll get down on the floor with them and play Barbies and Poly Pockets.

When she has all the grandkids at her house - Will, Luke, Carson and Marley - the five of them will climb in her bed, eat snacks and watch movies. The next morning, she'll serve them breakfast in bed.

"I try to make as many memories as I can. That's what my mom did," said Patti. "The night my mom died, the grandkids got out her gowns and jewelry and dressed up, just like they did when she was alive. She used to judge their outfits.

"Carson and Marley do that now. They get in my closet and play with my clothes and jewelry. It is so cute."

When Will was born, Patti had a decision to make. What would he call her? She decided on G.G., which stands for Good Granny. She's G.G. to all the grandkids, as well as their friends.

In a family as large as the Masons, there was bound to be disagreements, as there are in any family. Jeanie was always the one to smooth things over and keep the family close.

Three weeks before her mother died at age 85 in April 2006, Patti was driving her to the hospital for surgery. They both knew the seriousness of her illness. The surgery had been delayed a couple of days because Jeanie insisted on going on what she believed to be her final bus trip to the casinos in Louisiana. She loved to gamble but more than that, she knew most of her children would be on the bus and she didn't want to miss an opportunity to be with them.

Enroute to the hospital, Jeanie put her hand on Patti's and said, "You've got to hold the family together."
"All I can say is I'll try, but I don't know if I have the patience you do," Patti replied.

By example, Jeanie taught her children to never let anything go unsaid, to always say what they were feeling. She taught them to forgive and forget.

Patti has tried to follow that advice and let her children and grandchildren know just how much she loves them, to forget the bumps in the road and to give advice when she feels it is needed.

Her mom is still very much a part of Patti's life. She keeps a photo of her on her refrigerator and talks to her. When there is a particularly stressful situation, Patti will say, "OK Mom, what do I do?"

Patti's goal in life is to be half the person her mother was.

"There's not enough you can say good about my mother. I've learned so much from her. When I go, I want to be remembered like my mom," said Patti.

What Patti will be remembered for is that she was indeed a real mom.